Technically Speaking

This week it has been exactly six years since I returned from Brazil, and I’ve been feeling a little nostalgic. This morning I was thinking about the first time I did what I consider to be “real technical writing”—it was actually while I was serving as a missionary in Brazil.

While I was serving in the mission office, my companion (a native Brazilian) and I were called to the area office to assemble a large open-house display that had been created for missionary use in São Paulo and surrounding areas. The display was 4-5 2-sided panels that were about 7 feet tall. You’ve seen similar things at conventions and state fairs. The panels had pictures of the family and information about family history. The purpose of the display was to show non-members our emphasis on the family. Anyway, the instructions for assembling the display were all in English. Our job was to assemble the display using the instructions, and then create a set of instructions in Portuguese that would help a Brazilian assemble the display.

We had to translate jargon like “Take the bi-lateral support arm and insert it the grooves as shown in figure 6.” This pretty much consisted of me figuring out what a “bi-lateral support arm” was, and which groves we were talking about. Then my companion, Elder F. dos Santos would find some Portuguese equivalent and would write it down. Once we had it assembled, we had to do the same thing to disassemble it (since certain pieces had to go in certain boxes). Then we went back to the office and wrote up our instructions in Portuguese, using the figures from the original instructions. The next day we went back to the area office, and used our instructions to assemble and disassemble the display.

Little did I know then that I would be writing original instructions in English for my career.

I suppose I could just delete this post, and pretend like it never happened, but, well, never say I didn’t take an opportunity (one opportunity!) to say that I was wrong.

After lambasting the Gateway for using the term “bottom of the hour” to refer to 30-minutes past the hour, I have since learned that this is actually a common term that is widely used in radio broadcasting. So I officially apologize to my readers for the error I made in ignorance.

Silly me. Just because I haven’t heard a term before, I assume that it must be wrong. Because in reality, I’ve never been wrong. I mean, once I thought I was, but it turned out in the end that I was actually right.

Happy Birthday to the US of A. Hope you all have a safe and happy 4th of July!!!

What time do you think it is when it is the “bottom” of the hour?

A. Between :50-:59 past the hour
B. Between :25-:35 past the hour
C. All of the above
D. None of the above
E. Who cares? (if this is your answer, stop reading now!)

Every Firday Christina comes to my office and we have lunch together. During these summer months, this has often taken the form of us eating a sack lunch on the steps by the Olympic Legacy fountain at the Gateway mall in Salt Lake. (See image at right so you know what fountain I’m talking about; I stole this image from Salt Lake City Photos, so er, thanks.)

In any case, next to the fountain, there is a sign that says the following: “The dancing waters show of the Olympic Snowflake Fountain begins every 30 minutes at the top of the hour and the bottom of the hour.”

When, then, does the watershow start?

Turns out, it starts when the big hand is at the top (i.e., the “top” of the hour) and when the big hand is at the bottom (i.e., “half-past” the hour).

No, I’m sorry. But there isn’t a show at the “top” AND the “bottom” of the hour… unless “top” and “bottom” refer to a watch face.