Technically Speaking

I think I could write a weekly column on “better living by doing it yourself,” in which I could explain how often I try to do things myself only for them to go horribly wrong. This is one such example.

We’ll call it “The Botched Haircut.”

You’re groaning already, aren’t you! You already know that this is going to be a painful story. Well, any story involving a bad haircut is a painful story, but this one is especially so because at (almost) age 27, I haven’t yet learned that I shouldn’t try to cut my own hair.

This is something I should have learned at about age eight, when while visiting my grandparents in Canada, I decided to try to cut my own hair. Only problem was I used pinking shears (you know, the kind of scissors that instead of having a straight edge, have a zipper-like cut). This type of scissors is apparently more useful on felt than on hair.

Well, in my oh-so-wise 27-year-old mind, I decided this morning that I would try to shorten the hair at the top on the front of my head. (This hair is commonly referred to as “bangs”, but as a male, I vehemently deny having “bangs.” As of today that is even a true statement.) Well, I combed down the hair, and went at it with my scissors. Shorter is better, I naively thought to myself, so I decided to cut of a lot. This is when I made the Mistake. Okay, not really. I made the Mistake when I picked up the scissors. But I digress.

So I butchered the front of my hair. It looked like my hair had insulted a weed whacker, and the weed whacker retaliated. The weed whacker apparently won.

Christina walked in when I started to panic. Containing her laughter (mostly), she offered to “fix it.” Which she did. At least as best as could be done, given the circumstances. So now I have really short bangs. (There! I admitted it! I have bangs!)

And I’m grounding myself from regular scissors, in addition to pinking shears.

Hmmm… Wonder how I’d do with a weed whacker…

Chalk it up to “Better Living by Doing It Youself!”

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