Technically Speaking

It’s been slim pickin’s on the Technically Speaking blog these days, now hasn’t it been. Well, we had an interesting adventure over the weekend, that has change the dynamic of this week drastically.

We’re moving.

Again.

Now you might say, “Didn’t you move less than 2 months ago?” (In which case, you’d be right.) Yes. We did move two months ago. Now we are moving again–at the risk of alienating our siblings who get to help us move again. (Thanks Jonathan and Rick!)

So, if you are a A Mighty Wind fan, you are probably asking, “Whaa Haaapened?” Well, let me tell you.

If you live in the greater Salt Lake area, you are already aware that last week we were hit by a couple of rain storms in succession. Salt Lake had more rain last week than in like the previous month or something. Well, starting on Wednesday, there was a really bad humming sound in our telephone. By Wednesday evening, the phone had stopped working completely. We unplugged all the phones in the house, and tried them again on Thursday night. Still nothing. The rain continued to pour down upon us. (While it sounds like I’m trying to set a mood with the rain, it turns out it is actually related to the story. Read on…) By Friday morning, I was sick of not having a phone at home, so I called the phone company. They informed me that if the problem was between the box and the street, they would fix it for free. If, however, the problem was between the box and the house, there would be an eighty dollar fee — just for having come out. If we wanted to fix the problem, there would be an additional fee.

Trying to be a good renter, I decided to call the landlady and let her know that there was a problem, and to ensure she would pay to have the phone fixed. I mean, I want to have a phone line in my house, but my wife and I both have cell phones, so I wasn’t going to pay eighty dollars to find out that the problem was in the wiring, and still not have a working phone line. Besides, I think it is the landlord’s responsibility to provide a working phone line in the apartment.

It turns out that I am actually an awful renter, apparently according to my landlady’s perspective. See, when we mailed our rent check (admittedly a few days late; no good excuse, really) I included a list of things that were wrong with the apartment. These included: (1) The fridge (an early 1980s model) is in bad condition. There is frost that develops around the front of the freezer, and the door doesn’t hang right, and thus doesn’t close properly. It also makes a weird bubbly sound that I can’t identify. On top of that, the shelves on the door are all broken or missing, thus making the doors for both the freezer and the fridge useless storage. (2) There is a floorboard in the bathroom that is collapsing. When you step on it, you can feel it sinking beneath you. Asking to have these things fixed, are for the most part, apparently unreasonable requests that I shouldn’t expect to be fixed in an apartment that rents for less than 500 dollars a month.

To the landlady’s (who will remain anonymous, so we’ll just call her I. Peterson — no, no, how about Ilean P.) credit, she did ask somebody to come out and look at the fridge, and about two weeks after the rent check was mailed, the fridge door actually closed mostly properly. Now it closes, but has a tendency to pop back open occasionally. However, as to the doors, we were told that the fridge is “big enough,” and that “you don’t need the storage space on the doors anyway.” Besides, apparently “renters just take with them whatever they can get a hold of.” Okay. Renters are now stealing early 1980s era vintage fridge door shelves. I hear they are hot items on eBay. As for the sinking floorboard (which is probably due to rot, and should be fixed sooner rather than later), it has never been mentioned since, and won’t ever be mentioned again. At least not by us.

So, back to the broken phone. On Friday I called a certain Ilean P. to see if she would pay the eighty dollars if it were charged. She was unwilling to commit to paying for it, simply saying, “Well, we’ll see what happens.”

Christina was unwilling to accept that answer, and called her back to pin her down. Ilean was not to be pinned down. She kept saying “We’ll see what happens.”

Christina would reply, “Well there are two options. Either (1) the will find the problem to be theirs, and they will pay for it, or (2) they will decide the problem is in the wiring in the house, and we will be charged eighty dollars plus repairs. If they decide the problem is in the wiring in the house, will you pay to fix it?”

“Well, we’ll see.”

“What will we see? What will happen that will affect your decision on whether you will pay for it or not?”

“Well, we’ll just have to see what happens.”

Christina pressed the issue until Ilean confirmed that if the problem were in the wiring it would be something that “I [Ilean] would have to take care of.”

Right then we decided that we didn’t want to stay in the apartment any longer. Now we have been branded as the late-paying complainers, and from this time forward, we would never get a repair request taken seriously. Besides the fact that we are unable to communicate with our landlady without pulling out every last hair in our heads!

So we went and found a new place to live. We found a little duplex in Midvale that is at the end of a private lane, at the end of a dead-end road. There is a beautiful yard with mature trees, and a spot for a garden. We talked to another renter, and she said that the management has been wonderful about fixing things and getting things taken care of. We met the landlords who were very nice, and very excited to see us as potential renters. We thought about it all evening Friday, and Saturday morning (after looking at 3 or 4 other options) decided that was where we wanted to rent. It was Friday evening when the rain stopped.

By Saturday morning, the ground was dry and the sun was out. And miraculously the phone had started working again. I called the phone company right away to make sure that if they hadn’t already fixed it, they didn’t send a technician to fix the phone — because then we really WOULD have to pay the eighty dollars. Then I called Ilean to tell her that we would be moving out in eight days.

On Sunday, when the rain started again, the phone line died again. I’m not even going to call about it. It’s not our problem anymore.

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I have to say that one of the best parts of having a full time job has to be the vacation/sick/holiday time.

I was sick on Monday and Tuesday of this week, and was unable to go to work. However, I still got paid for Monday and Tuesday. That is really cool. I also got paid for Labor Day, and will get paid for Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Now I realize that for most people this is not a novel concept. However, when you have worked for (what seemed like) years on end as a part-time student employee, every hour counts towards the paycheck.

This concept became real for me on Wednesday morning when I was to go back to work. Christina asked me what time I would be home. I said, I guess I ought to stay a couple of extra hours to see if I can make up some hours. Then I realized–I don’t have to make up my hours! I can go to work for the rest of the 24 hours this week and not worry about the other 16. Way cool!

Full-time jobs are cool.

At the top of my blog, under the title, there is a quote from Anthony Robbins in which he says that we must recognize the differences in the way that we perceive the world, and then we must use that understanding as a guide when we communicate with other people.

With that in mind, I want to tell you about a conversation I overheard last night on the TRAX train as I rode home from work.

Let me interrupt myself to tell you how much I like riding the train to work. We live about 1/2 a mile from the Historic Sandy station, and I work about 1/4 a mile from the Delta Center station. Riding the train is GREAT. Since I stopped listening to music on the train (another story for another day), I have learned that I really enjoy listening to other people; it really is fascinating. Okay. Back to my story.

Yesterday evening a family of maybe 8-10 people boarded the train at the City Center station. They had obviously just been to the Titanic exhibit at the ZCMI Center mall in downtown Salt Lake. They were carrying bags with souvenirs and had a replica of a newspaper that described the sinking of the ship.

Seated directly in front of me was the dad of the family. To his left was his son who seemed to be about ten years old. Across the aisle was the boy’s mother and sisters; behind me were the rest of the extended family (maybe including aunts/uncles/cousins, etc.). The boy was excitedly holding a model he bought of the Titanic (called Titanic Book and Submersible Model Purchase/Reviews at: Yes Magazine, Amazon.com, Deseret Book).

The boy’s mother asked him how much he had paid for the model. He said it was about twenty dollars. His mother didn’t believe him and asked to see the receipt. He showed her. The receipt showed he had paid twenty-one dollars and change, with tax. She asked him if he had got the right change back. He said that he counted it, and it was right. She then said that store clerks like to take advantage of kids and try to steal their money. The boy responded by saying, “But I look smart.” The mom replied (in a somewhat teasing tone), “No you don’t.”

Looking for validation, the boy turned to his father and said, “Daddy, do I look smart?” The dad, not looking up from his newspaper replied (also in a somewhat teasing tone), “no.”

Ouch.

Later in the trip, the boy was describing the sinking model to his dad, and the dad said, “I don’t think you can even put it together.”

The boy replied, “Yes I can. My friend has one, and I’ve seen him play with it.”

The dad responded, “No you haven’t.”

The boy said, “Yes I have–and it is really cool how it floats, then when you flip a switch, it takes a couple of seconds, but then it sinks just like the real Titanic.”

The dad said, “I bet you will probably just break it after a couple of days–if you can even put it together in the first place.”

Ouch.

Later in the train ride, the boy said that he was really thirsty. The dad told him that there was a drinking fountain in the front of the train. The boy said, “Really?” The dad replied in the affirmative. When the boy stood up to go look for the fountain, the dad started laughing at the boy’s expense. I guess he thought it was funny that he had tricked his thirsty son into looking for a non-existent drinking fountain on the train.

I share this story not in an effort to make this father look like an awful person or to say that he was totally unkind or horrible or whatever.

I share this story for two reasons. First, I think it illustrates the point that Anthony Robbins makes in the above-mentioned quote. I can’t judge this man because I don’t know how he sees the world. I can’t judge the reaction of this boy because I don’t understand his perception of the world. I can, however, notice how the boy reacted to the communication (both verbal and non-verbal) of his parents. After being told that he “didn’t look smart” by both of his parents, he ducked his head and didn’t say anything for a few minutes. My perception of this incident was that even though he heard the teasing tones in his parent’s voices, twice in less than a minute he was told that he didn’t look smart. That has got to sting, no matter how much sarcasm was in a parent’s voice. (What do they say about sarcasm? It’s 80% truth?)

Second, I think the experience was enlightening for me. I tend to be a teaser. I like to give people a hard time in a joking way. However, when I watched the same kind of communication from the outside, it wasn’t funny. It only seemed hurtful. I need to watch the way I communicate with other people to make sure my communication patterns are building people up, not dragging them down.

Look at the world around you. Are your communication patterns a force for building or a force for destroying (however slowly)?